"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of
yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with
sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given
you." ~ Romans 12:3
I came to the realization last night that it's really not about me. What's 'it'? Everything. Of course, I've known that's it's not about me and that it's all about God, but something made me really understand it for the first time. And my understanding of that truth was extended even farther tonight at Wesley. Lately selfishness has been a frequent topic of discussion in my Freshley small group as it pertains to the Wesley Foundation, particularly in what we call worship. First, it must be understood that worship is not just music that we sing at church and youth group meetings; it's a way of life, just as prayer is, as modeled by Jesus Himself. But in this context, I am talking specifically about music.
God loves us. His love never fails; it goes on and on. Our God is for us and will never leave us. He always comes through. All of these things are true, but what's the common theme? God loves us. His love never fails [us]; it goes on and on. Our God is for us and will never leave us. He always comes through [for us]. Now, I have nothing against the songs that sing of these truths, but when these (and others like them) are the most common songs sung by the body of Christ, it starts to look like Christianity is all about our comfort, our success, our sense of feeling loved. Of course, God is also a common theme in each of these songs, but it's almost a disguise to hide the self-seeking motives behind a set-list that consists only of these kinds of songs. And even when worship services consist of other songs that actually sing of God's greatness and His glory, we often enter into worship services expecting to come out with a good feeling. Is that really worship?
Worship is meant to be glorifying to God. It's all about Him. It's not about me—it's not even about us. It's all about Him. This heart of God-centered worship as opposed to me-centered "worship" was the foundation of just about everything that God taught me tonight. It started with the leadership prayer meeting before Wesley. Joy came up as one of our prayer topics, and the prompt for our prayers on the matter was simple: Ask God for joy throughout the service tonight. That struck a nerve inside me. If I'm looking for joy from the service, I thought that meant that I was looking for that good feeling—that spiritual high. I was talking with a friend earlier today about how Wesley and other ministries can often become like a drug: any time we're having a bad week, gathering with God's people to sing about Him and hear a teaching about Him is the cure. But God doesn't want to be our drug; He wants to be our daily bread, our sustenance. So I had some trouble for a minute with praying for joy.
But then the Lord pointed something out to me: I was refusing to be joyful because I thought that asking for joy was self-seeking. Uhh... Wrong. As John Piper puts it, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." Joy is good! I decided then that I wanted to be able to have joy without restrictions, because if I disagree with anything that is preached, I tend to let it trigger judgmental thoughts that prevent me from having even a hint of joy, and then I can't focus on hearing God speak. But I don't want the kind of superficial, self-seeking happiness that rejoices when I find pleasure and good things in life, but rather the true joy that loves when God's will is accomplished and that can never be taken from me because it depends on the Lord's glory, and He is forever praised. But even if I do find myself looking for joy for my own sake and not because I absolutely love when God is glorified, I shouldn't let it keep me from being joyful.
When Wesley started and the music began, I couldn't help but belt my praises to God because of the joy He had given me in freeing me from seeking my own pleasure in worship. Ironic, I know: in trying to not seek my own good, God filled me with joy, and I worshiped all the more passionately because He had given me what I supposedly wasn't looking for. But I had a reason to sing joyfully: the songs we sang directly glorified the Lord. It was all about Him. (Maybe it's selfish of me to want to sing those kinds of songs instead of only songs about love because it makes me feel better about the kind of worship I'm offering the Lord. I don't know. Only He knows the motives of our hearts, so if I came across as judgmental in my observations and discomfort with typical worship sets, I apologize.)
A cool revelation God showed me tonight is that a candle is not lit for the sake of the candle itself or for the glory of the fire, but for the pleasure of the one who lights it. Likewise, the fire the Lord ignites in our hearts is not for the sake of our own glory but for His, and His alone. So let's burn like candles for the Lord, lifting up our prayers and worship as a pleasing aroma to Him. Instead of constantly asking God to help us with our days, let's seek to do everything we do for His glory. When we ask for help from the Lord, let it be for grace to give Him the glory He deserves, rather than for grace to catch the bus we're about to miss. And let us ask for the faith we need to trust God and to fully understand that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and for His glory, even when it means dealing with difficulties (to put it mildly).
I'll finish up with some words of hope for anyone facing hardships: Because Jesus triumphed over death in perfect victory, we can trust Him to never fail us. Jesus rose from the grave, and He is still alive today. He has not died since His resurrection, so His victory remains secure. He is in a constant state of victory, not only against sin and death, but also against any evil that may come our way to harm us. So take heart! The Lord has overcome the world, and He will be exalted in it all.
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