"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

2 Corinthians 5:17

So I've been learning a lot lately about what it means to truly devote myself to God in my music, specifically in my trumpet playing.  At camp, I felt like it wouldn't be right for me to play in the worship band toward the beginning of the summer because I didn't want to play just for the sake of playing.  I felt like I would be playing to stay in shape, and I wanted to leave that behind and focus on what He had for me.  But at the end of the summer when band camp and band/orchestra placement auditions came around, I realized that the Lord had given me the opportunity to worship Him with my talents all summer, but I had refused to take it for the sake of suppressing my pride.  I became the servant in Matthew 25:14-30 who buried the talent his master had given him, for fear of losing it or using it with no profit.  I didn't want to build up my pride by adding myself into the worship team and performing in front of the camp every week.  But all God was asking me was to use the talent He has given me.  I asked Him at the beginning of the summer to help me maintain my playing ability through camp, but I missed my chance, which was the greatest chance of all: to play in a worship band for a bunch of kids.  I could have played and allowed the Lord to redeem any pride that I allowed to build up inside of me, but I hid my talent away for the summer instead.  So I paid the price for it when my audition came around, although He remained faithful to help me through it.

Then last night happened: the Battle Hymn solo auditions.  Every year the Redcoat Band has three or four trumpet soloists who play the intro to the Battle Hymn of the Republic.  Eighteen people tried out last night, and by God's grace I ended up being one of the four selected to be Battle Hymn soloists.  I think He had a few reasons for giving me this honor.  First, He's giving me a chance to redeem myself and offer myself completely to Him by putting on display the talent He has given me.  Plus, up there in the upper deck, southwest corner I can put Christ on display for the people sitting up there by the way I act.

But He also has another reason that I just realized.  It's a continuation of what I was learning this summer: confidence.  My friend Shelby jokingly asked me earlier today, "Are you freaking out yet?"  My answer was to the effect of, "Not quite yet, but I'm sure it will hit me the night before and the morning of my first solo performance."  But then I realized what I had said.  I was pretty much forecasting my fear, surrendering my will to my nerves.  Yes, I said it based on my past experiences with big moments like this, but I don't have to be defined by my past.  Who I am today isn't bound to who I was yesterday.  This is both a blessing and a motivator: Because of my redemption by the blood of Christ, my past mistakes no longer determine who I am going to be; but on the other hand, all of yesterday's triumphs in Jesus' name are not enough for today.  Each day I am allotted 24 hours to surrender to the Lord, and I must give Him all of it.  Yesterday's hours of surrender do not add up to count toward today's hours.  This should motivate me to seek Him actively every day, because when Jesus returns, if I surrender something new to the Lord every day, the sum of each day's submission will be that much closer to consuming my entire being.  I should seek to surrender more of myself to God each day.  At the same time, just because I have tended to remain calm until my nerves hit me shortly before big performances or presentations in the past doesn't mean that that is how it's always going to be.  I am a new man every day.  Michael on Friday, August 24th is not the same Michael that existed on Thursday, August 23rd.  Neither am I the same person I was when I went in to my concert band audition last week.  And I am not the same person I will be next Saturday on game day.

Just like the Lord has been teaching me since the spring, I need to stay focused on the here and now and live one day at a time.  So as I prepare for my first performance of the Battle Hymn solo (well, at a football game, that is), I am determined to remember that "the old has gone, the new has come!"  Even though my nerves have typically messed with me immediately before performances in the past, I am choosing to trust in the Lord and know that He has given me this opportunity to worship Him, and worship does not require skill or perfect performance, but only the heart and intention behind it.  It is by His grace alone that my personal worship leads others to worship as well, and that is my prayer: that by my attitude in the upper deck, and as a Redcoat in general, others would see Christ in me and find that He is worth getting to know.

And I also apply this same prayer to my everyday life, asking God to help me remember to live each day as if it the only chance I will ever get to live.  I pray that I would constantly keep my eyes fixed on Christ, straight ahead, not turning to the left or to the right, and that I would always live life to the fullest of the potential He has given me in everything.  I pray that I would never be content with anything less than total devotion to the Lord in every area of my life.  When I feel spiritually dry, I want to learn to thank God, because that dryness means that I have experienced greater spiritual saturation before and I am hungry and unwilling to remain in a place that is not as advanced as I have experienced before.  I have drawn close to the Lord in the past, and I want to live in that position of communion with God moment by moment.  I want to be in a state of constant prayer.  I want my mindset to be one of taking thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).  I want my attitude to be one of constant worship and submission to the Lord's will as I live continually in His presence.  I pray that I would not allow myself to identify myself with my past failures, but that I would eagerly take hold of the truth that I am a new creation every day.

And I pray all of these things for all my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I hope you will join me in praying for these things as well.  God bless!