Apparently, ungratefulness has been a theme in my life lately, and I didn't realize it until just now. I was reading Psalm 106, and when I got to verse 2, the Spirit made a connection from there to my thoughts from my last post.
"Who can utter the mighty deeds of the Lord, or declare all His praise?"The reason I had all the thoughts I was having before is because Satan was putting them in a place in my mind where they didn't belong, and that place had been left open because that was where my praise of God belonged. I was looking for praise for myself in place of the praise I was supposed to be giving God. I had forgotten just how much the Lord has done for me and has been doing for me since before I was born.
I've been noticing recently that I become indignant at seeing other people do and say a lot of the things that I do and say toward the Lord. As should be obvious because of the topic of this post, ingratitude is what I noticed, and also a need to make the good deed and the other person's ingratitude known. But then I realized that I do the same thing. If I do something nice or achieve something and I am not recognized or appreciated, I take it personally and try to conjure up appreciation from others. But it shouldn't be about my own reputation of being nice or successful. It should be about doing everything as for the Lord and not for men (Colossians 3:23), and men includes me. I shouldn't do things for the sake of receiving attention, but rather because God told me to do it and in obedience I give Him glory.
But not only am I guilty of seeking unnecessary attention, but I am also guilty of being the ungrateful one who fails to give God the glory He deserves. Psalm 106:2 was a reminder to me this morning that it is impossible to recount all that the Lord has done and give Him enough thanks for all of it. Therefore, there is no reason for me to get so caught up in what I am not (2 Corinthians 8:12). Even if I am not the most desired person to be around or to be like, it doesn't matter as long as who I am leads people to Christ. And if I am not in a position to influence someone in a deep way, then all I can do is pray that someone else is there to be God's light to them. So any time I start to pay too much attention to the lies I'm being convinced of, I need to remember God's goodness and faithfulness and love. Psalm 105:43-45 essentially says that God blesses His people so that we would listen to Him and obey Him, and He has blessed me far beyond earning mere obedience. He deserves my wholehearted, joyful devotion in seeking Him, serving Him, and seeking ways to serve Him without being commanded to do so. (That's not to say that I should look for big ways to glorify Him instead of doing the small things He tells me to do. Whenever He tells me to do something, that's what I need to do. But if I haven't heard a call to do something, then I am to "do all that is in [my] heart, for the Lord is with [me]" (2 Samuel 7:3).) I want to remember every day just how much God has done for me and is currently doing for me, so that I would always be motivated to live to worship Him with my whole life. I cannot thank the Lord enough for bringing me to where I am and for where He is leading me, because I know it will be good. It may be hard and not so enjoyable, but true joy is not based on my circumstances. "Joy is refusing to let what cannot be enjoyed keep me from enjoying all that can be."
So rather than remembering who I am not, I will remember who God is, and I will let that understanding move me to strive to be more like Him without getting discouraged by my faults and failures.
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