"Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me."

 Psalm 51:12

So I've been back in Athens for almost a week now, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.  I feel like I'm going through a kind of culture shock coming from Camp Highland, where everyone is constantly pursuing God and pouring into each other, and returning to the Redcoat Band at UGA, where it's pretty much the opposite: people not only rejecting God, but actively running away from Him and tearing each other down.  I love being a Redcoat, but I'm not loving the mutual lack of patience between the band and the directors because it's causing my own patience to run thin.  On the bright side, when I have a task to do when I'm at the end of my rope, I focus only on that, and everything else becomes a blur.  But unfortunately, everything else becomes a blur, and I think I almost seem rude—not because of anything I say but because I don't feel like say anything at all.  And when I reach that point, things that annoy me, which I usually ignore, only push me deeper into that hard, hollow shell that forms inside me.  So while I've been focused and quiet during band camp, I haven't been able to enjoy it, and I may have even kept others from enjoying it to the fullest.

I'm also finding myself being a lot less social than normal, which isn't saying all that much because I don't talk much anyway.  But I usually like hanging out with friends, and I'm usually all about meeting new people at the beginning of the school year, but I can probably count on my fingers how many people I've met this past week.  Maybe it's a result of my impatience with Redcoats this year.  Or maybe it's a part of recovering from camp, where I met new kids every week; maybe I'm exhausted from meeting so many people that I just need to take a break.  But whatever the reason, it all needs to change before Monday because I'm going to be a Freshley small group leader, and I need to be ready to meet the freshmen with joy.

I'm about to head to Compass Church with my friend Greg, one of my co-counselors from this summer, so hopefully whatever is making me feel so spiritually drained will be fixed when I get back.

———————————
So at Compass this morning the pastor gave a few key points about what it's like to live in God's will.  We read Acts 20:22-24, but the Lord directed me beyond the intended passage to verses 25-27: "And now, behold, I know that none of you among whom I have gone about proclaiming the kingdom will see my face again.  Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all of you, for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God."  It was exactly what I needed because it convicted me.  Like I said this morning, I didn't meet very many freshmen last week.  By failing to do so, I showed a lack of understanding of the fact that it's very possible that they don't know Christ, and meeting me could be the last chance they get to meet Him.  Paul understood that when he went to Ephesus, and he made sure to make the most of his time with the Ephesians, knowing that he had very little time, and his time there could be the only chance for any of them to come to know Christ.  And when he left, he was able to say with confidence that he had done everything he could do to make Jesus known to them.  Sadly, I can't say that I've done everything I can to demonstrate God's love to my fellow Redcoats, especially to the freshmen.  I need to "be transformed by the renewing of [my] mind" (Romans 12:2) so that I can devote everything to the Lord.  And I need God to "restore to me the joy of [His] salvation" (Psalm 51:12) because "the joy of the Lord is [my] strength" (Nehemiah 8:10).  In whatever I do, I want to "work at it with all [my] heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since [I] know that [I] will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ [I am] serving" (Colossians 3:23-24).  I don't need to work in order to earn my inheritance as a reward for my work; I want to be able to work joyfully because the Lord has already promised me an inheritance.

So as I prepare to start classes tomorrow, please join me in praying that I (and all our brothers and sisters in Christ) would find strength and perseverance in the Lord to be able to serve Him joyfully and with patience and to lovingly and urgently make Him known to everyone we meet, as if each conversation will be our last.

I was talking earlier with Bryan, my co-leader for our Freshley small group, and we both want to see at least one guy who doesn't truly know Christ join our small group and learn to passionately follow Him this year.  Whether it's through the Spirit's guidance through us or through the encouragement of other freshmen, we want to have the joy of seeing at least one freshman come to know Christ.  So please be praying for us as we rely on the Lord to minister to these freshmen that we will be meeting tomorrow.  And pray that our leadership and wisdom and love for our brothers in Christ would not be artificially generated, but that it would be genuine and would come from the overflow of God's love being poured out into us.

God is going to move in power this year, and I can't wait to see it!  It's going to be a good year.