Names

About a year ago, while reflecting on my summer at Camp Highland, my devotions led me to John 13, when Jesus washed the feet of His disciples.  When He came to Peter, the headstrong disciple refused to be served by his Master, insisting that he should be serving his Lord instead.  Once Jesus explained the purpose of His service to His disciples, Peter immediately repented and asked that Jesus clean him completely, not only his feet.  As I thought on this, God directed me to realize that I am often like Peter in the way I seek to serve and not be served.

Moses was similarly disillusioned.  Though referred to as the most humble man on the face of the earth (Numbers 12:3), Moses showed arrogance just as Peter did and just as I do so often.  When he witnessed one of his Hebrew brethren being beaten by an Egyptian, Moses killed the Egyptian to protect his fellow Israelite (Exodus 2:11-12).  Moses judged the Egyptian for his sin, and in an attempt to take the place of God, he dealt out what he imagined was justice.  Again, when he struck the rock in anger to bring forth water in the desert, Moses strayed from the command of the Lord and spoke as if he himself were producing the water for the Israelites (Number 20:10-12).  Twice, the most humble man on earth tried to issue judgment in place of God.

To this man, God chose to show Himself and reveal His Name.  In order to remind Moses that there is only one true God, and it is not him, the Lord called Moses to an impossible task and walked with him to bring success.  The Lord also shared His name with Moses: I AM THAT I AM.  Louie Giglio writes that this revelation of who God is is also a reminder of who we are, or rather, of who we are not.  If God's name is "I AM," then our name must be "I am not" (I am not, but I know I AM, Giglio).  This was meant to free Moses from the burden of being the savior of his people.  No man should have to bear that burden.  Only Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was able to carry His identity as God and His purpose as the Savior of humanity with complete humility.

Now, Jesus came to serve, not to be served.  That purpose was meant for Jesus alone.  Just as God's name "I AM" points out that our name is "I am not," my name, Michael, means "who is like God," which reminds me that there is no one like God who is without need.  Though I try to serve everyone in every way as often as I can, it is not my place to refuse service from others.  By doing so, I claim to be all-sufficient, just as Moses claimed God's judgment seat.  I've found that I've been repeatedly putting myself in the place of God, whether by refusing to receive service or by ignoring advice because I believe I already possess the necessary wisdom, which Romans 12:16 so clearly warns against.

Names often create a platform from which to praise God.  Michael is a reminder that the Lord is incomparably great.  Hanani is a reminder of God's grace toward us.  But similarly, names also serve to convict us when we forget our identities in relation to the Lord.  When I believe I am self-sufficient, Hanani reminds me that all I have is because of God's grace, by which He has given me all I need.  When I believe I am like God, Michael reminds me that "I am not," and that none can compare to Him.  Anything in me that reflects God is only because Christ dwells in me.

To combat my pride, like Moses, I need to remember that the Lord is I AM, and my name is "I am not."  Knowing that "I don't have what they need" sets me free to serve joyfully, and knowing that I don't have what I need allows me to humbly receive service rather than refuse it.