These are John Piper's three behavior categories of Christians when it comes to missions: we can either go serve and take the gospel to Jerusalem, to Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8); we can support, encourage, pray for, and send others (Acts 13:1-3); or we can disobey the Great Commission entirely and so reject God's grace shown to us.
This past week the Lord has been heavily emphasizing missions in what He has been teaching me. It started with hearing about Athens Launch a couple weeks ago, which is a mission-oriented community group that is being set up here for the upcoming school year. Launch has several sites across the country, and now Athens will be added to that number. The purpose of Launch is largely for networking and encouraging "go-ers" and mobilizers. A go-er is just what it sounds like: they are the people typically identified as missionaries, who go overseas as laborers in the harvest. Mobilizers are those who make people aware of the urgent need for missionaries in all six areas (learning, going, praying, sending, welcoming, and mobilizing) and who spur people on toward action for the advancement of the Kingdom of God.
Anyway, because I won't be doing Wesley leadership next year (God is leading me to start removing myself from the campus ministry setting and more into a church setting, so I plan to get more involved at Watkinsville First Baptist), it seemed like Launch was going to be what I'm supposed to do next year instead. I was wrong. Because of time conflicts with Redcoats, Launch is not for me. But I like several of the ideas behind Launch, like the commitment to meeting with international students regularly, the desire for fellowship not only in a spiritual learning environment but also in a setting that fosters relationship building—specifically, sharing meals together with the intent of carrying that time over into Bible study time. So I want to live out what Launch will be doing without officially being a part of Launch.
Enough about that. Following the whole ordeal with Launch, I went to Perspectives this past Thursday, which drove home the idea of missions even deeper. My friend Jessica had an idea that got us both really excited about the learning and mobilizing areas of missions, and that set the ball rolling for even more ideas. In addition to that, Chris Fitzgerald, the missions director at Watkinsville, spoke at Perspectives and talked about the importance of having a solid home church that will wholeheartedly support missionaries so that they are not cut off from their church family while they are overseas. Then Chris spoke again at church this morning, as well as a couple that will be moving to Boston to minister to college and university faculty.
All of this has culminated for me in the last couple days. What I said earlier was exactly completely true: this didn't really start with Launch. It started with me not going on a mission trip this year, which was a change for me because I've gone to Jamaica over spring break two out of my three years at UGA. Instead, God called me to help send people on mission trips rather than actually going on one myself. So I've been supporting people financially and in prayer this year, which has been an incredible opportunity to see how God uses the people I am investing in. He also showed me how Moses was a mobilizer to Aaron, and because of other similarities I noticed when comparing my own life to the life of Moses, I took that to mean that I'm supposed to be a mobilizer too. So the culmination of all of this came when my friend Shelby shared that she is still raising her last $700 of support for her trip to Southeast Asia through Adventures in Missions (http://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=partFund — choose Passport under Program, and donate to Shelby Burnam), and I wanted to give more, but God gave me a different idea. After hearing Chris speak at Perspectives, the Lord hinted at the idea of setting up an organization, probably starting locally here in Athens but possibly expanding, that would connect go-ers with senders and pray-ers. We hear a lot about people who are raising support to go on mission trips, but what if there was a group of people who know that their calling at this point in time is not to go but to send and pray, and that group was filled with a passion and desperation to support people going on mission trips? What if people began to say, "I wish I knew someone that is going overseas that I could invest in through prayer, encouragement, and financial means"? And what if there was someone that could connect those senders and prayers with the go-ers who are still raising support? This idea is still in the formative stages, but I think this is where God is leading me in the relatively near future.
The last thing the Lord told me yesterday was on the issue of praying for missions. I was reading The Complete Works of E.M. Bounds On Prayer, which I've been reading on and off since summer 2011, and conveniently, the chapter that I had left off on was on Prayer and Missions. The point Bounds made in the chapter was that too often we give financially toward missions but we don't pray. Missionary support without prayer is just like sending someone on a fully funded vacation or community service project. What really sets missions apart is the prayer that goes into it. So God challenged me with a challenge for all go-ers, prayers, and senders. To the senders, pray! Pray first before you donate. And don't let it be just a one-time thing, when you pray for God to bless your donation, and then you give your money. Really pray over an extended period of time. For example, for a week-long mission trip, assuming the one going has given you advance notice, keep the trip in your prayers at least as long as the trip will last before you give any money toward it. If you know for certain that you are supposed to give toward a trip before you pray about it, tell the person, "I'm going to give financially toward your trip, but I want to pray for you and your trip before I give you the money and send you off." And to the go-ers, encourage your supporters to do this. Rather than asking for money right off the bat, if it's early November and your trip is in March, ask your supporters to pray for the entire month of November before sending any money. And when sending updates during the support raising period, remind your supporters to keep praying, an give them something to pray about rather than just giving financial progress reports. Bounds states that too often we ask for money and assume that prayer will inherently be given along with the money. But we need to start thinking the other way around: a spirit of prayer for missions will naturally give rise to a giving spirit. So that's my challenge: In supporting missions, don't give money until you have actively prayed for the trip. A lot of times our prayers regarding missions are confined to the shallow "Should I give, and if so, how much?" kind of prayers. But we need to actually pray for missions, not simply about them. And in seeking support, trust God to give you the money you need when you need it; instead, let your main request be for prayer.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Westboro Among Us
It's been a long time since I've written anything, but I've felt like I haven't been retaining much of what I've been learning since I stopped posting in my blog, so I figured what God showed me today was worth posting so that I would remember it and also because it needs to be shared.
I haven't been very consistent with attending church this year (I've partially justified it by my attendance and leadership position at Wesley, but I've genuinely missed being at an actual church rather than a campus ministry. The last couple months I've also had several gigs that have interfered with me attending my usual church. But today I finally got to go back, and I was taken aback by just how guarded and borderline critical it seemed, not of me but of other denominations and specific controversial preachers. While I do agree with some of the points made and that the controversial statements of said preachers quite obviously contradicted my own understanding of biblical faith, I felt offended on behalf of the Church as a whole because of the attacks being made against individuals and their followers.
Maybe the criticism stood out to me just because I've been noticing my own tendency to be critical of the majority of Christians. But regardless, I think the overall skeptical nature of this generation has become one of the biggest downfalls of the Church because it has caused us to turn against each other. We put down the teachings and beliefs of other Christians just because we happen to not be learning the same thing at that point in time. We question everything anyone says, and while I admit that we are told to test the spirits and not take everyone at their word, if straightforward skepticism becomes the identifying trait of Christians, then something is wrong. The line of distinction between us and Westboro Baptist Church is starting to fade. We boldly point out the faults of anyone who claims to be Christian but has even one differing opinion from our own, and we pronounce them condemned for it. That may be a harsh way of putting it, but I believe it's true.
Now, I realize that this post is pretty ironic because I'm criticizing the Church's tendency to criticize the Church. But I think it's time for us to focus less on the flaws of the whole Church and turn our examination inward to recognize and correct our own individual flaws. As Alan, my high school small group leader said, part of what goes into fearing God is acknowledging how we have wronged Him throughout our lives so that the wrongs others do to us don't seem like that big of a deal in comparison; and it's time for us to start fearing God. We need to be so repentant of our own sins that we can't help but be forgiving to others because of the forgiveness God has shown us. We need to learn to love despite our disagreements. I need to learn to love. Of course, love does not condone views and actions that are clearly out of line with God's will, but it most definitely is not founded on criticism.
May we learn to be humble in our faith while remaining firmly rooted in the Truth. May we learn to encourage others while not neglecting to promote the Truth and dismiss lies with gentleness and respect. And may the Lord grant me the privilege of being the first to take my own advice and fall in line with His will, to love the Church as He does.
In keeping with seeking humility, I invite anyone who disagrees with me on any point to say so, as well as anyone who would like to comment or who would like me to elaborate. This goes for this post as well as any past and future posts.
I haven't been very consistent with attending church this year (I've partially justified it by my attendance and leadership position at Wesley, but I've genuinely missed being at an actual church rather than a campus ministry. The last couple months I've also had several gigs that have interfered with me attending my usual church. But today I finally got to go back, and I was taken aback by just how guarded and borderline critical it seemed, not of me but of other denominations and specific controversial preachers. While I do agree with some of the points made and that the controversial statements of said preachers quite obviously contradicted my own understanding of biblical faith, I felt offended on behalf of the Church as a whole because of the attacks being made against individuals and their followers.
Maybe the criticism stood out to me just because I've been noticing my own tendency to be critical of the majority of Christians. But regardless, I think the overall skeptical nature of this generation has become one of the biggest downfalls of the Church because it has caused us to turn against each other. We put down the teachings and beliefs of other Christians just because we happen to not be learning the same thing at that point in time. We question everything anyone says, and while I admit that we are told to test the spirits and not take everyone at their word, if straightforward skepticism becomes the identifying trait of Christians, then something is wrong. The line of distinction between us and Westboro Baptist Church is starting to fade. We boldly point out the faults of anyone who claims to be Christian but has even one differing opinion from our own, and we pronounce them condemned for it. That may be a harsh way of putting it, but I believe it's true.
Now, I realize that this post is pretty ironic because I'm criticizing the Church's tendency to criticize the Church. But I think it's time for us to focus less on the flaws of the whole Church and turn our examination inward to recognize and correct our own individual flaws. As Alan, my high school small group leader said, part of what goes into fearing God is acknowledging how we have wronged Him throughout our lives so that the wrongs others do to us don't seem like that big of a deal in comparison; and it's time for us to start fearing God. We need to be so repentant of our own sins that we can't help but be forgiving to others because of the forgiveness God has shown us. We need to learn to love despite our disagreements. I need to learn to love. Of course, love does not condone views and actions that are clearly out of line with God's will, but it most definitely is not founded on criticism.
May we learn to be humble in our faith while remaining firmly rooted in the Truth. May we learn to encourage others while not neglecting to promote the Truth and dismiss lies with gentleness and respect. And may the Lord grant me the privilege of being the first to take my own advice and fall in line with His will, to love the Church as He does.
In keeping with seeking humility, I invite anyone who disagrees with me on any point to say so, as well as anyone who would like to comment or who would like me to elaborate. This goes for this post as well as any past and future posts.
Friday, November 16, 2012
"'Sit at My right hand, until I make your enemies your footstool.'"
Psalm 110:1b
I was talking with my friend Robby last night, and he asked me what God has been teaching me lately. I caught myself not really being able to think of anything, and I was ready to get down on myself. So I answered by sharing a quick story of a minor event that had some personal significance for me, and I was able to pick out a little bit of a lesson: Pay attention to the little details and be thankful for the ordinary things of life, because God is working in all of it, even in the things you don't notice.
While part of me took that moment as a rebuke, saying, "Great, I haven't been as devoted to the Lord as I would like, and now I have to own up to it; but I just want to make something up to make it sound like I'm still learning something," I just realized that in the back of my mind, something or Someone was saying, "Sure, you haven't been committing yourself fully to the Lord, but that doesn't mean that you aren't learning something. God uses everything, and all it takes is a new perspective to recognize how He is growing you. Just look for it." So He helped me find something, and it turns out that it's a much bigger lesson for me than it originally seemed.
I just opened up my blog and read the first few sentences of my last post, and I realized that had pretty much forgotten about the lesson I was learning just a little over a week ago. I wasn't even finished learning it, because obviously learning to "give thanks in all circumstances" is a lifelong process. So the Spirit convicted me, saying, "Why are you so caught up in learning new things? If I have to always be teaching you something new, when will you ever learn the full extent of what I am teaching you now? Be content to 'sit at my right hand until I make your enemies your footstool.'" One cliché I've been taking note of a lot lately is when people say they're resting in a particular truth, and I've never really understood that. But I think I finally get it. I need to be willing to dwell on the truth I am learning long enough for it to sink in, and maybe even a little longer so that I can put it into action. I need to be able to "rest" in the place where I am currently before I can move on to something new. In this way, I think I've been showing myself to be very restless. In fact, now that I think about it, it's been this way not just with specific lessons, but even with sermons and passages of Scripture. If I've heard a message several times before, it's hard for me to listen intently to it again because I feel like I've gotten all that I can out of it. But I know that's not true. This has always been the case for me. I've never been one to reread books over and over again. Even if I loved reading it, when I'm finished with a book, it goes back on the shelf and stays there. So I think God is telling me that it's time to mature and grow out of this part of my personality. It's time for me to be patient and to persevere in sitting at His feet and listening for a while.
Peter says in his second epistle, "Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder, since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me. And I will make every effort so that after my departure you may be able to at any time recall these things" (2 Peter 1:10-15). If I have not yet learned the qualities that the Spirit is trying to teach me and grow in me, then it is necessary for me to be reminded of those qualities so that I can continue to grow in them until the Spirit discerns that the fruits being produced in that area are sufficient for the time being, and it is time to move on to another quality. If I do not allow perseverance to finish its work, I will never be mature and complete as the Lord desires for me (James 1:4), and perseverance cannot finish its work if I am constantly wavering between the various truths that I want to focus on. Consistency in learning new things is of little value if I have no consistency in learning each lesson to the fullest extent.
So God's command to me today is this: "Come away by [yourself]... and rest a while" (Mark 6:31). I need to remember the lesson He taught me last night regarding ordinary details and combine it with the lesson of gratitude from my last post, and I intend to "rest in that" for a while.
I was talking with my friend Robby last night, and he asked me what God has been teaching me lately. I caught myself not really being able to think of anything, and I was ready to get down on myself. So I answered by sharing a quick story of a minor event that had some personal significance for me, and I was able to pick out a little bit of a lesson: Pay attention to the little details and be thankful for the ordinary things of life, because God is working in all of it, even in the things you don't notice.
While part of me took that moment as a rebuke, saying, "Great, I haven't been as devoted to the Lord as I would like, and now I have to own up to it; but I just want to make something up to make it sound like I'm still learning something," I just realized that in the back of my mind, something or Someone was saying, "Sure, you haven't been committing yourself fully to the Lord, but that doesn't mean that you aren't learning something. God uses everything, and all it takes is a new perspective to recognize how He is growing you. Just look for it." So He helped me find something, and it turns out that it's a much bigger lesson for me than it originally seemed.
I just opened up my blog and read the first few sentences of my last post, and I realized that had pretty much forgotten about the lesson I was learning just a little over a week ago. I wasn't even finished learning it, because obviously learning to "give thanks in all circumstances" is a lifelong process. So the Spirit convicted me, saying, "Why are you so caught up in learning new things? If I have to always be teaching you something new, when will you ever learn the full extent of what I am teaching you now? Be content to 'sit at my right hand until I make your enemies your footstool.'" One cliché I've been taking note of a lot lately is when people say they're resting in a particular truth, and I've never really understood that. But I think I finally get it. I need to be willing to dwell on the truth I am learning long enough for it to sink in, and maybe even a little longer so that I can put it into action. I need to be able to "rest" in the place where I am currently before I can move on to something new. In this way, I think I've been showing myself to be very restless. In fact, now that I think about it, it's been this way not just with specific lessons, but even with sermons and passages of Scripture. If I've heard a message several times before, it's hard for me to listen intently to it again because I feel like I've gotten all that I can out of it. But I know that's not true. This has always been the case for me. I've never been one to reread books over and over again. Even if I loved reading it, when I'm finished with a book, it goes back on the shelf and stays there. So I think God is telling me that it's time to mature and grow out of this part of my personality. It's time for me to be patient and to persevere in sitting at His feet and listening for a while.
Peter says in his second epistle, "Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder, since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me. And I will make every effort so that after my departure you may be able to at any time recall these things" (2 Peter 1:10-15). If I have not yet learned the qualities that the Spirit is trying to teach me and grow in me, then it is necessary for me to be reminded of those qualities so that I can continue to grow in them until the Spirit discerns that the fruits being produced in that area are sufficient for the time being, and it is time to move on to another quality. If I do not allow perseverance to finish its work, I will never be mature and complete as the Lord desires for me (James 1:4), and perseverance cannot finish its work if I am constantly wavering between the various truths that I want to focus on. Consistency in learning new things is of little value if I have no consistency in learning each lesson to the fullest extent.
So God's command to me today is this: "Come away by [yourself]... and rest a while" (Mark 6:31). I need to remember the lesson He taught me last night regarding ordinary details and combine it with the lesson of gratitude from my last post, and I intend to "rest in that" for a while.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Apparently, ungratefulness has been a theme in my life lately, and I didn't realize it until just now. I was reading Psalm 106, and when I got to verse 2, the Spirit made a connection from there to my thoughts from my last post.
I've been noticing recently that I become indignant at seeing other people do and say a lot of the things that I do and say toward the Lord. As should be obvious because of the topic of this post, ingratitude is what I noticed, and also a need to make the good deed and the other person's ingratitude known. But then I realized that I do the same thing. If I do something nice or achieve something and I am not recognized or appreciated, I take it personally and try to conjure up appreciation from others. But it shouldn't be about my own reputation of being nice or successful. It should be about doing everything as for the Lord and not for men (Colossians 3:23), and men includes me. I shouldn't do things for the sake of receiving attention, but rather because God told me to do it and in obedience I give Him glory.
But not only am I guilty of seeking unnecessary attention, but I am also guilty of being the ungrateful one who fails to give God the glory He deserves. Psalm 106:2 was a reminder to me this morning that it is impossible to recount all that the Lord has done and give Him enough thanks for all of it. Therefore, there is no reason for me to get so caught up in what I am not (2 Corinthians 8:12). Even if I am not the most desired person to be around or to be like, it doesn't matter as long as who I am leads people to Christ. And if I am not in a position to influence someone in a deep way, then all I can do is pray that someone else is there to be God's light to them. So any time I start to pay too much attention to the lies I'm being convinced of, I need to remember God's goodness and faithfulness and love. Psalm 105:43-45 essentially says that God blesses His people so that we would listen to Him and obey Him, and He has blessed me far beyond earning mere obedience. He deserves my wholehearted, joyful devotion in seeking Him, serving Him, and seeking ways to serve Him without being commanded to do so. (That's not to say that I should look for big ways to glorify Him instead of doing the small things He tells me to do. Whenever He tells me to do something, that's what I need to do. But if I haven't heard a call to do something, then I am to "do all that is in [my] heart, for the Lord is with [me]" (2 Samuel 7:3).) I want to remember every day just how much God has done for me and is currently doing for me, so that I would always be motivated to live to worship Him with my whole life. I cannot thank the Lord enough for bringing me to where I am and for where He is leading me, because I know it will be good. It may be hard and not so enjoyable, but true joy is not based on my circumstances. "Joy is refusing to let what cannot be enjoyed keep me from enjoying all that can be."
So rather than remembering who I am not, I will remember who God is, and I will let that understanding move me to strive to be more like Him without getting discouraged by my faults and failures.
Apparently, ungratefulness has been a theme in my life lately, and I didn't realize it until just now. I was reading Psalm 106, and when I got to verse 2, the Spirit made a connection from there to my thoughts from my last post.
"Who can utter the mighty deeds of the Lord, or declare all His praise?"The reason I had all the thoughts I was having before is because Satan was putting them in a place in my mind where they didn't belong, and that place had been left open because that was where my praise of God belonged. I was looking for praise for myself in place of the praise I was supposed to be giving God. I had forgotten just how much the Lord has done for me and has been doing for me since before I was born.
I've been noticing recently that I become indignant at seeing other people do and say a lot of the things that I do and say toward the Lord. As should be obvious because of the topic of this post, ingratitude is what I noticed, and also a need to make the good deed and the other person's ingratitude known. But then I realized that I do the same thing. If I do something nice or achieve something and I am not recognized or appreciated, I take it personally and try to conjure up appreciation from others. But it shouldn't be about my own reputation of being nice or successful. It should be about doing everything as for the Lord and not for men (Colossians 3:23), and men includes me. I shouldn't do things for the sake of receiving attention, but rather because God told me to do it and in obedience I give Him glory.
But not only am I guilty of seeking unnecessary attention, but I am also guilty of being the ungrateful one who fails to give God the glory He deserves. Psalm 106:2 was a reminder to me this morning that it is impossible to recount all that the Lord has done and give Him enough thanks for all of it. Therefore, there is no reason for me to get so caught up in what I am not (2 Corinthians 8:12). Even if I am not the most desired person to be around or to be like, it doesn't matter as long as who I am leads people to Christ. And if I am not in a position to influence someone in a deep way, then all I can do is pray that someone else is there to be God's light to them. So any time I start to pay too much attention to the lies I'm being convinced of, I need to remember God's goodness and faithfulness and love. Psalm 105:43-45 essentially says that God blesses His people so that we would listen to Him and obey Him, and He has blessed me far beyond earning mere obedience. He deserves my wholehearted, joyful devotion in seeking Him, serving Him, and seeking ways to serve Him without being commanded to do so. (That's not to say that I should look for big ways to glorify Him instead of doing the small things He tells me to do. Whenever He tells me to do something, that's what I need to do. But if I haven't heard a call to do something, then I am to "do all that is in [my] heart, for the Lord is with [me]" (2 Samuel 7:3).) I want to remember every day just how much God has done for me and is currently doing for me, so that I would always be motivated to live to worship Him with my whole life. I cannot thank the Lord enough for bringing me to where I am and for where He is leading me, because I know it will be good. It may be hard and not so enjoyable, but true joy is not based on my circumstances. "Joy is refusing to let what cannot be enjoyed keep me from enjoying all that can be."
So rather than remembering who I am not, I will remember who God is, and I will let that understanding move me to strive to be more like Him without getting discouraged by my faults and failures.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Enough is enough
I've had it. I'm at a point where Satan has been taunting me and lying to me, presenting me with all kinds of convincing ideas about myself and about others, and I've gotten to the dreaded place where I'm almost okay with it. I've kind of accepted the lies he's been telling me, even though I know that they're lies. I just don't care, and I've been letting him accuse me and humiliate me before my own eyes, and I've been making God just sit back and watch Satan force me to beat myself up mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. A big reason for it all is that a lot of the lies I've been believing are actually true, but distorted and put in a place in my focus where they don't belong. But another part of it is that I haven't been consistent in seeking to be filled with the truth in studying God's Word.
Let me just list off some of the things Satan's been telling me about myself.
Maybe this is why I've been having such a hard time with the series on identity at Wesley the last few weeks. The main message has been about setting up a foundation of "truths" about our identity. Part of the reason why I'm skeptical about some things being truth and why I'm okay with believing some of the enemy's accusations against me is that I am being convicted of things that I tend to overlook, and I'm tired of seeing the church overlook things that need to be addressed. The focus of the church has become the truth that God is love and He has made us exactly who we are meant to be, so we condone sin; but the reality is that He is also the Righteous Judge who loves us too much to allow us to remain in our present sinful state. He can't stand to see sin retain any sort of influence in our lives. But anyway, I didn't realize it until just now, but the reason I've been struggling with the "ID Required" series is that it's my natural response is to deflect the message and redirect it to someone who actually needs it. But the truth is that I actually need it, and I'm unwilling to be humiliated in accepting that I am unsure of my identity. I've struggled with the series because I need to be reminded of God's truth, but I've been content to accept the lies for so long that the lies have become comfortable. To accept the truth would be to undergo life-altering change, but I've grown too comfortable to want to change.
So I am now at war. The Lord has revealed to me the treachery of the one I have been listening to for so long, and now it is time for me to fight back. I pray that whatever truth exists in the enemy's accusations would be highlighted to me so that I can be convicted and moved to change, and I pray that my tolerance for anything other than the word of the Lord, in its purity and truth, would completely dissipate. I can also rejoice in acknowledging these accusations as true, because it is in my weakness that Christ is shown to be strong. My depravity contrasts God's holiness so that His glory is all the more awesome and worthy of worship.
While I deal with my personal struggles, I pray that I would always remember that it's all about Jesus, and that I would never forget that all things work together for His infinite glory. And I pray that that truth would be confirmed as the Lord takes His glory for Himself by reshaping me into His image and molding me into a good and faithful steward of the blessings and grace He has granted me. I pray that I would be able to leave behind my fleshly nature and grow into the character of Christ.
Let me just list off some of the things Satan's been telling me about myself.
I'm not dependable. I keep to myself and offer help when it's convenient to me or when I think I have something to offer, but whenever someone needs something and comes to me for help, I can't offer them what they really need.
I'm not responsible or mature. I can't take care of things for myself. Because I'm not dependable, even I can't depend on myself. I have to rely on others to do the important research in order to take action on the things that matter.
I am not motivated, driven, or passionate about anything or by anything. Nothing consumes me like it should.
I am not an independent individual. I can't shape my own identity without having others around me to give me an idea of what I want to be like. I copy whoever I last talked to.
I am not personal and open. I don't share who I am with people because I don't even know who I am. I don't make myself known to people, and I don't know how to seek to know people. I also tend to project God's Word on others rather than receiving His words for myself. I believe in my subconscious mind that I am not one of "the wicked" referred to in the Bible.
I am not humble. I judge and I compare myself to others, unintentionally finding ways to put myself above others and to put others below me in my mind. I am too obsessed with my reputation, ironically, of being humble, as well as my reputation for many other things.
I am not truthful, nor do I have integrity. I have developed the habit of sugarcoating the truth to the point that it becomes a flat out lie. I learned the habit from being lied to in the same way by Satan my entire life. When I fail to meet the standard, whether it's God's standard or the standards set up by society, I hide behind my distorted, barely convincing less-than-half truth.
I am not an obedient doer of the Word. I have been deceived to think that my hearing of the Word counts as obedience and that is enough, so I resign myself to disobedience.
I am not bold or confident. I am a coward who hates to be humiliated, but who is too unmotivated to do anything to keep myself from being humiliated, so I lie as a coverup.
I am not accepting. I'm too caught up in being prideful and judgmental to accept anyone with their public sins. Sin separates man from God, and I am convinced that I am still close to God despite my sins, but everyone else is gradually falling away from the Lord.
I am not loving. I don't know how to love. I'm too afraid of being vulnerable and open and showing myself for who I am—because I don't know who I am or what people will see when I open up—to be able to love freely. I'm too self-conscious and insecure to love.
I am not forgiving. I can be very bitter. I hold grudges easily, and it takes far too long for me to let go. And my grudges are frequently about trivial things.
I am not joyful continually, as we are commanded to be in 1 Thessalonians 5:16. In fact, I am often very negative and pessimistic, bordering on being depressed (although not clinically).
I am not a go-to person, whether it's for assistance, for someone to confide in, or just for having fun. I am not an enjoyable person to be around—at least, not enough for anyone to go out of their way to make plans to be around me.Maybe it's childish of me to think all of these things, even if they are coming from the voice of the devil. Maybe I need to get over it and just go on keeping to myself some more. Forgive me for being cold, but I really don't want any kind of sympathy about these issues, and I don't want to be forcefully convinced that all of these things are false accusations. I already know that full well, but that doesn't change the fact that I still believe them for some reason.
Maybe this is why I've been having such a hard time with the series on identity at Wesley the last few weeks. The main message has been about setting up a foundation of "truths" about our identity. Part of the reason why I'm skeptical about some things being truth and why I'm okay with believing some of the enemy's accusations against me is that I am being convicted of things that I tend to overlook, and I'm tired of seeing the church overlook things that need to be addressed. The focus of the church has become the truth that God is love and He has made us exactly who we are meant to be, so we condone sin; but the reality is that He is also the Righteous Judge who loves us too much to allow us to remain in our present sinful state. He can't stand to see sin retain any sort of influence in our lives. But anyway, I didn't realize it until just now, but the reason I've been struggling with the "ID Required" series is that it's my natural response is to deflect the message and redirect it to someone who actually needs it. But the truth is that I actually need it, and I'm unwilling to be humiliated in accepting that I am unsure of my identity. I've struggled with the series because I need to be reminded of God's truth, but I've been content to accept the lies for so long that the lies have become comfortable. To accept the truth would be to undergo life-altering change, but I've grown too comfortable to want to change.
So I am now at war. The Lord has revealed to me the treachery of the one I have been listening to for so long, and now it is time for me to fight back. I pray that whatever truth exists in the enemy's accusations would be highlighted to me so that I can be convicted and moved to change, and I pray that my tolerance for anything other than the word of the Lord, in its purity and truth, would completely dissipate. I can also rejoice in acknowledging these accusations as true, because it is in my weakness that Christ is shown to be strong. My depravity contrasts God's holiness so that His glory is all the more awesome and worthy of worship.
While I deal with my personal struggles, I pray that I would always remember that it's all about Jesus, and that I would never forget that all things work together for His infinite glory. And I pray that that truth would be confirmed as the Lord takes His glory for Himself by reshaping me into His image and molding me into a good and faithful steward of the blessings and grace He has granted me. I pray that I would be able to leave behind my fleshly nature and grow into the character of Christ.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Glory in the Highest - Joy without Restrictions
"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of
yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with
sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given
you." ~ Romans 12:3
I came to the realization last night that it's really not about me. What's 'it'? Everything. Of course, I've known that's it's not about me and that it's all about God, but something made me really understand it for the first time. And my understanding of that truth was extended even farther tonight at Wesley. Lately selfishness has been a frequent topic of discussion in my Freshley small group as it pertains to the Wesley Foundation, particularly in what we call worship. First, it must be understood that worship is not just music that we sing at church and youth group meetings; it's a way of life, just as prayer is, as modeled by Jesus Himself. But in this context, I am talking specifically about music.
God loves us. His love never fails; it goes on and on. Our God is for us and will never leave us. He always comes through. All of these things are true, but what's the common theme? God loves us. His love never fails [us]; it goes on and on. Our God is for us and will never leave us. He always comes through [for us]. Now, I have nothing against the songs that sing of these truths, but when these (and others like them) are the most common songs sung by the body of Christ, it starts to look like Christianity is all about our comfort, our success, our sense of feeling loved. Of course, God is also a common theme in each of these songs, but it's almost a disguise to hide the self-seeking motives behind a set-list that consists only of these kinds of songs. And even when worship services consist of other songs that actually sing of God's greatness and His glory, we often enter into worship services expecting to come out with a good feeling. Is that really worship?
Worship is meant to be glorifying to God. It's all about Him. It's not about me—it's not even about us. It's all about Him. This heart of God-centered worship as opposed to me-centered "worship" was the foundation of just about everything that God taught me tonight. It started with the leadership prayer meeting before Wesley. Joy came up as one of our prayer topics, and the prompt for our prayers on the matter was simple: Ask God for joy throughout the service tonight. That struck a nerve inside me. If I'm looking for joy from the service, I thought that meant that I was looking for that good feeling—that spiritual high. I was talking with a friend earlier today about how Wesley and other ministries can often become like a drug: any time we're having a bad week, gathering with God's people to sing about Him and hear a teaching about Him is the cure. But God doesn't want to be our drug; He wants to be our daily bread, our sustenance. So I had some trouble for a minute with praying for joy.
But then the Lord pointed something out to me: I was refusing to be joyful because I thought that asking for joy was self-seeking. Uhh... Wrong. As John Piper puts it, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." Joy is good! I decided then that I wanted to be able to have joy without restrictions, because if I disagree with anything that is preached, I tend to let it trigger judgmental thoughts that prevent me from having even a hint of joy, and then I can't focus on hearing God speak. But I don't want the kind of superficial, self-seeking happiness that rejoices when I find pleasure and good things in life, but rather the true joy that loves when God's will is accomplished and that can never be taken from me because it depends on the Lord's glory, and He is forever praised. But even if I do find myself looking for joy for my own sake and not because I absolutely love when God is glorified, I shouldn't let it keep me from being joyful.
When Wesley started and the music began, I couldn't help but belt my praises to God because of the joy He had given me in freeing me from seeking my own pleasure in worship. Ironic, I know: in trying to not seek my own good, God filled me with joy, and I worshiped all the more passionately because He had given me what I supposedly wasn't looking for. But I had a reason to sing joyfully: the songs we sang directly glorified the Lord. It was all about Him. (Maybe it's selfish of me to want to sing those kinds of songs instead of only songs about love because it makes me feel better about the kind of worship I'm offering the Lord. I don't know. Only He knows the motives of our hearts, so if I came across as judgmental in my observations and discomfort with typical worship sets, I apologize.)
A cool revelation God showed me tonight is that a candle is not lit for the sake of the candle itself or for the glory of the fire, but for the pleasure of the one who lights it. Likewise, the fire the Lord ignites in our hearts is not for the sake of our own glory but for His, and His alone. So let's burn like candles for the Lord, lifting up our prayers and worship as a pleasing aroma to Him. Instead of constantly asking God to help us with our days, let's seek to do everything we do for His glory. When we ask for help from the Lord, let it be for grace to give Him the glory He deserves, rather than for grace to catch the bus we're about to miss. And let us ask for the faith we need to trust God and to fully understand that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and for His glory, even when it means dealing with difficulties (to put it mildly).
I'll finish up with some words of hope for anyone facing hardships: Because Jesus triumphed over death in perfect victory, we can trust Him to never fail us. Jesus rose from the grave, and He is still alive today. He has not died since His resurrection, so His victory remains secure. He is in a constant state of victory, not only against sin and death, but also against any evil that may come our way to harm us. So take heart! The Lord has overcome the world, and He will be exalted in it all.
I came to the realization last night that it's really not about me. What's 'it'? Everything. Of course, I've known that's it's not about me and that it's all about God, but something made me really understand it for the first time. And my understanding of that truth was extended even farther tonight at Wesley. Lately selfishness has been a frequent topic of discussion in my Freshley small group as it pertains to the Wesley Foundation, particularly in what we call worship. First, it must be understood that worship is not just music that we sing at church and youth group meetings; it's a way of life, just as prayer is, as modeled by Jesus Himself. But in this context, I am talking specifically about music.
God loves us. His love never fails; it goes on and on. Our God is for us and will never leave us. He always comes through. All of these things are true, but what's the common theme? God loves us. His love never fails [us]; it goes on and on. Our God is for us and will never leave us. He always comes through [for us]. Now, I have nothing against the songs that sing of these truths, but when these (and others like them) are the most common songs sung by the body of Christ, it starts to look like Christianity is all about our comfort, our success, our sense of feeling loved. Of course, God is also a common theme in each of these songs, but it's almost a disguise to hide the self-seeking motives behind a set-list that consists only of these kinds of songs. And even when worship services consist of other songs that actually sing of God's greatness and His glory, we often enter into worship services expecting to come out with a good feeling. Is that really worship?
Worship is meant to be glorifying to God. It's all about Him. It's not about me—it's not even about us. It's all about Him. This heart of God-centered worship as opposed to me-centered "worship" was the foundation of just about everything that God taught me tonight. It started with the leadership prayer meeting before Wesley. Joy came up as one of our prayer topics, and the prompt for our prayers on the matter was simple: Ask God for joy throughout the service tonight. That struck a nerve inside me. If I'm looking for joy from the service, I thought that meant that I was looking for that good feeling—that spiritual high. I was talking with a friend earlier today about how Wesley and other ministries can often become like a drug: any time we're having a bad week, gathering with God's people to sing about Him and hear a teaching about Him is the cure. But God doesn't want to be our drug; He wants to be our daily bread, our sustenance. So I had some trouble for a minute with praying for joy.
But then the Lord pointed something out to me: I was refusing to be joyful because I thought that asking for joy was self-seeking. Uhh... Wrong. As John Piper puts it, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." Joy is good! I decided then that I wanted to be able to have joy without restrictions, because if I disagree with anything that is preached, I tend to let it trigger judgmental thoughts that prevent me from having even a hint of joy, and then I can't focus on hearing God speak. But I don't want the kind of superficial, self-seeking happiness that rejoices when I find pleasure and good things in life, but rather the true joy that loves when God's will is accomplished and that can never be taken from me because it depends on the Lord's glory, and He is forever praised. But even if I do find myself looking for joy for my own sake and not because I absolutely love when God is glorified, I shouldn't let it keep me from being joyful.
When Wesley started and the music began, I couldn't help but belt my praises to God because of the joy He had given me in freeing me from seeking my own pleasure in worship. Ironic, I know: in trying to not seek my own good, God filled me with joy, and I worshiped all the more passionately because He had given me what I supposedly wasn't looking for. But I had a reason to sing joyfully: the songs we sang directly glorified the Lord. It was all about Him. (Maybe it's selfish of me to want to sing those kinds of songs instead of only songs about love because it makes me feel better about the kind of worship I'm offering the Lord. I don't know. Only He knows the motives of our hearts, so if I came across as judgmental in my observations and discomfort with typical worship sets, I apologize.)
A cool revelation God showed me tonight is that a candle is not lit for the sake of the candle itself or for the glory of the fire, but for the pleasure of the one who lights it. Likewise, the fire the Lord ignites in our hearts is not for the sake of our own glory but for His, and His alone. So let's burn like candles for the Lord, lifting up our prayers and worship as a pleasing aroma to Him. Instead of constantly asking God to help us with our days, let's seek to do everything we do for His glory. When we ask for help from the Lord, let it be for grace to give Him the glory He deserves, rather than for grace to catch the bus we're about to miss. And let us ask for the faith we need to trust God and to fully understand that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and for His glory, even when it means dealing with difficulties (to put it mildly).
I'll finish up with some words of hope for anyone facing hardships: Because Jesus triumphed over death in perfect victory, we can trust Him to never fail us. Jesus rose from the grave, and He is still alive today. He has not died since His resurrection, so His victory remains secure. He is in a constant state of victory, not only against sin and death, but also against any evil that may come our way to harm us. So take heart! The Lord has overcome the world, and He will be exalted in it all.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
2 Corinthians 5:17
So I've been learning a lot lately about what it means to truly devote myself to God in my music, specifically in my trumpet playing. At camp, I felt like it wouldn't be right for me to play in the worship band toward the beginning of the summer because I didn't want to play just for the sake of playing. I felt like I would be playing to stay in shape, and I wanted to leave that behind and focus on what He had for me. But at the end of the summer when band camp and band/orchestra placement auditions came around, I realized that the Lord had given me the opportunity to worship Him with my talents all summer, but I had refused to take it for the sake of suppressing my pride. I became the servant in Matthew 25:14-30 who buried the talent his master had given him, for fear of losing it or using it with no profit. I didn't want to build up my pride by adding myself into the worship team and performing in front of the camp every week. But all God was asking me was to use the talent He has given me. I asked Him at the beginning of the summer to help me maintain my playing ability through camp, but I missed my chance, which was the greatest chance of all: to play in a worship band for a bunch of kids. I could have played and allowed the Lord to redeem any pride that I allowed to build up inside of me, but I hid my talent away for the summer instead. So I paid the price for it when my audition came around, although He remained faithful to help me through it.
Then last night happened: the Battle Hymn solo auditions. Every year the Redcoat Band has three or four trumpet soloists who play the intro to the Battle Hymn of the Republic. Eighteen people tried out last night, and by God's grace I ended up being one of the four selected to be Battle Hymn soloists. I think He had a few reasons for giving me this honor. First, He's giving me a chance to redeem myself and offer myself completely to Him by putting on display the talent He has given me. Plus, up there in the upper deck, southwest corner I can put Christ on display for the people sitting up there by the way I act.
But He also has another reason that I just realized. It's a continuation of what I was learning this summer: confidence. My friend Shelby jokingly asked me earlier today, "Are you freaking out yet?" My answer was to the effect of, "Not quite yet, but I'm sure it will hit me the night before and the morning of my first solo performance." But then I realized what I had said. I was pretty much forecasting my fear, surrendering my will to my nerves. Yes, I said it based on my past experiences with big moments like this, but I don't have to be defined by my past. Who I am today isn't bound to who I was yesterday. This is both a blessing and a motivator: Because of my redemption by the blood of Christ, my past mistakes no longer determine who I am going to be; but on the other hand, all of yesterday's triumphs in Jesus' name are not enough for today. Each day I am allotted 24 hours to surrender to the Lord, and I must give Him all of it. Yesterday's hours of surrender do not add up to count toward today's hours. This should motivate me to seek Him actively every day, because when Jesus returns, if I surrender something new to the Lord every day, the sum of each day's submission will be that much closer to consuming my entire being. I should seek to surrender more of myself to God each day. At the same time, just because I have tended to remain calm until my nerves hit me shortly before big performances or presentations in the past doesn't mean that that is how it's always going to be. I am a new man every day. Michael on Friday, August 24th is not the same Michael that existed on Thursday, August 23rd. Neither am I the same person I was when I went in to my concert band audition last week. And I am not the same person I will be next Saturday on game day.
Just like the Lord has been teaching me since the spring, I need to stay focused on the here and now and live one day at a time. So as I prepare for my first performance of the Battle Hymn solo (well, at a football game, that is), I am determined to remember that "the old has gone, the new has come!" Even though my nerves have typically messed with me immediately before performances in the past, I am choosing to trust in the Lord and know that He has given me this opportunity to worship Him, and worship does not require skill or perfect performance, but only the heart and intention behind it. It is by His grace alone that my personal worship leads others to worship as well, and that is my prayer: that by my attitude in the upper deck, and as a Redcoat in general, others would see Christ in me and find that He is worth getting to know.
And I also apply this same prayer to my everyday life, asking God to help me remember to live each day as if it the only chance I will ever get to live. I pray that I would constantly keep my eyes fixed on Christ, straight ahead, not turning to the left or to the right, and that I would always live life to the fullest of the potential He has given me in everything. I pray that I would never be content with anything less than total devotion to the Lord in every area of my life. When I feel spiritually dry, I want to learn to thank God, because that dryness means that I have experienced greater spiritual saturation before and I am hungry and unwilling to remain in a place that is not as advanced as I have experienced before. I have drawn close to the Lord in the past, and I want to live in that position of communion with God moment by moment. I want to be in a state of constant prayer. I want my mindset to be one of taking thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). I want my attitude to be one of constant worship and submission to the Lord's will as I live continually in His presence. I pray that I would not allow myself to identify myself with my past failures, but that I would eagerly take hold of the truth that I am a new creation every day.
And I pray all of these things for all my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I hope you will join me in praying for these things as well. God bless!
So I've been learning a lot lately about what it means to truly devote myself to God in my music, specifically in my trumpet playing. At camp, I felt like it wouldn't be right for me to play in the worship band toward the beginning of the summer because I didn't want to play just for the sake of playing. I felt like I would be playing to stay in shape, and I wanted to leave that behind and focus on what He had for me. But at the end of the summer when band camp and band/orchestra placement auditions came around, I realized that the Lord had given me the opportunity to worship Him with my talents all summer, but I had refused to take it for the sake of suppressing my pride. I became the servant in Matthew 25:14-30 who buried the talent his master had given him, for fear of losing it or using it with no profit. I didn't want to build up my pride by adding myself into the worship team and performing in front of the camp every week. But all God was asking me was to use the talent He has given me. I asked Him at the beginning of the summer to help me maintain my playing ability through camp, but I missed my chance, which was the greatest chance of all: to play in a worship band for a bunch of kids. I could have played and allowed the Lord to redeem any pride that I allowed to build up inside of me, but I hid my talent away for the summer instead. So I paid the price for it when my audition came around, although He remained faithful to help me through it.
Then last night happened: the Battle Hymn solo auditions. Every year the Redcoat Band has three or four trumpet soloists who play the intro to the Battle Hymn of the Republic. Eighteen people tried out last night, and by God's grace I ended up being one of the four selected to be Battle Hymn soloists. I think He had a few reasons for giving me this honor. First, He's giving me a chance to redeem myself and offer myself completely to Him by putting on display the talent He has given me. Plus, up there in the upper deck, southwest corner I can put Christ on display for the people sitting up there by the way I act.
But He also has another reason that I just realized. It's a continuation of what I was learning this summer: confidence. My friend Shelby jokingly asked me earlier today, "Are you freaking out yet?" My answer was to the effect of, "Not quite yet, but I'm sure it will hit me the night before and the morning of my first solo performance." But then I realized what I had said. I was pretty much forecasting my fear, surrendering my will to my nerves. Yes, I said it based on my past experiences with big moments like this, but I don't have to be defined by my past. Who I am today isn't bound to who I was yesterday. This is both a blessing and a motivator: Because of my redemption by the blood of Christ, my past mistakes no longer determine who I am going to be; but on the other hand, all of yesterday's triumphs in Jesus' name are not enough for today. Each day I am allotted 24 hours to surrender to the Lord, and I must give Him all of it. Yesterday's hours of surrender do not add up to count toward today's hours. This should motivate me to seek Him actively every day, because when Jesus returns, if I surrender something new to the Lord every day, the sum of each day's submission will be that much closer to consuming my entire being. I should seek to surrender more of myself to God each day. At the same time, just because I have tended to remain calm until my nerves hit me shortly before big performances or presentations in the past doesn't mean that that is how it's always going to be. I am a new man every day. Michael on Friday, August 24th is not the same Michael that existed on Thursday, August 23rd. Neither am I the same person I was when I went in to my concert band audition last week. And I am not the same person I will be next Saturday on game day.
Just like the Lord has been teaching me since the spring, I need to stay focused on the here and now and live one day at a time. So as I prepare for my first performance of the Battle Hymn solo (well, at a football game, that is), I am determined to remember that "the old has gone, the new has come!" Even though my nerves have typically messed with me immediately before performances in the past, I am choosing to trust in the Lord and know that He has given me this opportunity to worship Him, and worship does not require skill or perfect performance, but only the heart and intention behind it. It is by His grace alone that my personal worship leads others to worship as well, and that is my prayer: that by my attitude in the upper deck, and as a Redcoat in general, others would see Christ in me and find that He is worth getting to know.
And I also apply this same prayer to my everyday life, asking God to help me remember to live each day as if it the only chance I will ever get to live. I pray that I would constantly keep my eyes fixed on Christ, straight ahead, not turning to the left or to the right, and that I would always live life to the fullest of the potential He has given me in everything. I pray that I would never be content with anything less than total devotion to the Lord in every area of my life. When I feel spiritually dry, I want to learn to thank God, because that dryness means that I have experienced greater spiritual saturation before and I am hungry and unwilling to remain in a place that is not as advanced as I have experienced before. I have drawn close to the Lord in the past, and I want to live in that position of communion with God moment by moment. I want to be in a state of constant prayer. I want my mindset to be one of taking thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). I want my attitude to be one of constant worship and submission to the Lord's will as I live continually in His presence. I pray that I would not allow myself to identify myself with my past failures, but that I would eagerly take hold of the truth that I am a new creation every day.
And I pray all of these things for all my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I hope you will join me in praying for these things as well. God bless!
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